Last hurrah a fitting one for Goren, Eames

pbpulse.com
By Leslie Gray Streeter | TV | March 26, 2010

Dear bitter, disgruntled Law & Order: Criminal Intent fans:

I hate to interrupt you as you’re writing that scathing missive to the cruel honchos at USA Network about how they’re stupid for dumping original recipe Detectives Goren (the masterful Vincent D’Onfrio) and Eames (Katherine Erbe) in favor of new-fangled odd duck Zack Nichols (played by old-fangled odd duck Jeff Goldblum).

But I’ve seen the two-part Season 8 opener, the first part of which airs Tuesday, and I’ve got some news for you that might make you feel a little better.

"Is it the news that USA came to its senses and sent Goldblum back to wherever he came from so he can continue to refute those Internet rumors that he fell off a cliff in New Zealand and died?" some of you are no doubt wondering.

Well, no. The fan-polarizing Nichols, along with new partner Serena Stevens (Saffron Burrows, who memorably got chomped in half by a lab-engineered genius shark in the last few minutes of Deep Blue Sea), will be front and center on CI beginning with the third episode. And if you guys hold to the threats you’ve posted on various message boards to boycott all post-Goren and Eames episodes, then I guess that makes you bitter, disgruntled ex-CI fans.

I respect that — you have better things to do than continue to patronize a show that bounced your favorite characters, particularly if you can’t stand the replacements. But if after the season opener, to paraphrase surrendering Nez Perce leader Chief Joseph, you will watch no more forever, I beg you to at least watch Goren and Eames’ last hurrah. Without giving anything away, I can swear that the detective duo’s farewell does their history, as well as their personalities, justice. That, at least, must make you happy?

"Nothing’s making me happy until you tell me this was all a horrible dream and that Goren and Eames have been cast in the eleventy-fifth series spin-off, Law & Order: Circus Cops,” you’re thinking.

Yeah, yeah, I get it. But the Law and Order franchise has a habit of writing off characters with either a hasty plot development or a crazy "What the …???" moment that had nothing to do with their previous story line.

So let me just say, again without spoilerage, the disturbed-but-brilliant Goren and the perplexed but loyal Eames, as well as departing Capt. Ross (the simmering Eric Bogosian) are squarely the focus of their farewell episodes, which focus on modern day pirates, a pivotal undercover assignment and a particularly tricky heir to an African throne. Both episodes are well-written, well-plotted, well-acted and have saved a good gut-punch or two for our darling departed detectives.

"But why are they writing them out in the first place?" you’re wailing, now writing your protest letter in angry slashes (and by the way, that’s not how you spell "travesty.")

At the risk of getting an angry letter myself. … I think it’s time. Seriously.

Put that letter opener down and listen to me. Most television shows would kill for an eight-season run, particularly those that got bounced from the original networks. Likewise, a lot of actors would be thrilled to have the same job that long, particularly one that’s explored every twisty nook and unsettling cranny of one’s character. The original Law & Order is careful to only tell you as much about the characters as you need to know, while CI became all about Bobby Goren, who in eight years has gone from sleekly snarky Sherlock Holmes to tragic crackpot to someone diminished but somehow working toward a fragile redemption.

Think about it — in the past eight years, the show killed Goren’s demanding, cancer-stricken mom the same day he found out his birth father was a serial killer, then had his arch-nemesis kill his former junkie brother on the orders of his former mentor! And did I mention the nephew in the mental institution? Sheesh, y’all.


The show strategically took everything from that dude, including his whole family, and, for a while, his sanity and credibility. There wasn’t much else they could do to him and still ask you to believe that he was sane enough to be running around armed. And it just became painful to watch this once proud man become a mumbling, tumbling shell of his former self.

Because CI chose to slap Goren around so much, they really wrote themselves into a corner, and the only choices seemed to be to A) end the show or B) move on with another actor, like they’re doing with the delightfully arch Goldblum. (Yes, haters. I called him delightful.) And yes, a lot of you were hoping they’d pick A, because without Goren, there’s no CI from you. But I’m hopeful that the show will rebound and flourish with its new lead, just like Law & Order has done the 87 times it’s changed casts.

Of course, like I said, Law & Order is more about the cases than about the people, and if CI is no longer "The Bobby Goren Human Punching Bag Hour," then what’s the point? I think that if it refocuses on what it used to be — a clever cat-and-mouse play presenting the killer right off the bat while the brilliant detectives connect the dots — there’s more than enough juice left.

I’m at least glad that Law & Order: Criminal Intent won’t have Bobby Goren to kick around anymore. Because I don’t think he could take it.

Thanks Linda!